Wedding planning tends to focus on the day itself: the venue, the guest list, the budget. Far less attention usually goes to the marriage that starts the day after. Premarital counseling exists to close that gap, giving couples a structured space to talk through the questions that shape a long-term relationship, before those questions turn into unresolved conflict a few years in.
Why premarital counseling is worth the time
It’s a fair question, especially when wedding planning already feels like a full-time job. The short answer is that couples tend to do better when they’ve had practice having hard conversations before marriage, not just after. Multiple studies on premarital education, including research associated with programs like PREPARE/ENRICH, have found couples who complete some form of premarital counseling report meaningfully lower divorce rates and higher relationship satisfaction than couples who don’t, with commonly cited reductions in divorce risk in the range of 25 to 30 percent. The PREPARE/ENRICH program has been studied and used with millions of couples over several decades, and the consistent finding across this research is simple: preparation helps.
That doesn’t mean premarital counseling is about predicting whether your relationship will work. It’s about building skills and clarity before you need them under pressure, which tends to be far easier than trying to learn them mid-crisis.
The questions that matter most before marriage
Every couple is different, but certain topics tend to surface repeatedly as sources of conflict later if they aren’t discussed clearly beforehand:
- Money. How will you handle joint versus separate finances, debt brought into the marriage, spending habits, and long-term financial goals?
- Roles and expectations. Who handles what at home, and where did those assumptions come from in each of your families growing up?
- Family planning. Do you both want children, and if so, roughly when, and how do you each imagine sharing that responsibility?
- Extended family and in-laws. What role will each side of the family play in your day-to-day life, holidays, and major decisions?
- Conflict style. When you disagree, does one of you tend to want to talk it out immediately while the other needs space first? Neither style is wrong, but mismatched expectations here cause real friction.
- Faith and values. If you hold different beliefs, or one of you is more observant than the other, how will you navigate that as a couple, especially around future children?
- Intimacy and connection. What does emotional and physical closeness look like for each of you, and how will you keep prioritizing it once daily life gets busy?
Premarital counseling doesn’t require you to have identical answers to every one of these. It gives you a structured, supported way to find out where you align and where you’ll need an ongoing plan for navigating differences.
What a premarital counseling session looks like
At Carbajal Counseling, premarital sessions draw on the same relationship-focused approaches we use in marriage counseling, including Emotionally Focused Therapy, the Gottman Method, and Internal Family Systems. Rather than a generic checklist, your therapist will help you and your partner talk through the topics most relevant to your specific relationship and background, including your families of origin, your communication patterns as a couple, and any areas of disagreement you’ve noticed while planning your life together. If faith is an important part of your relationship, several of our therapists are prepared to incorporate that perspective into the conversation as well.
Most couples attend a handful of sessions in the months leading up to the wedding, though the right number depends on how much you want to cover and how far out your wedding date is.
Signs premarital counseling would be especially helpful
Consider scheduling a session if any of the following apply to your relationship right now:
- You’ve noticed you avoid certain topics, like money or family planning, because they tend to turn into arguments
- One or both of you comes from a very different family background or set of expectations around marriage
- This is a second marriage for either of you, or you’re blending families with children from previous relationships
- You want tools for handling disagreement well, even though your relationship feels strong overall
- You simply want a dedicated space to talk about the marriage itself, separate from the logistics of the wedding
Frequently asked questions
How many premarital counseling sessions do most couples need? This varies by couple, but many attend somewhere between four and eight sessions in the months before the wedding. Your therapist can help you determine a pace that fits your timeline and the topics you want to cover.
Is premarital counseling only for couples who are struggling? No. Most couples who attend premarital counseling are not in crisis. They’re investing in their relationship proactively, the same way you might get a home inspection before buying a house, not because you expect problems, but because it’s wise to know what you’re working with.
Does insurance cover premarital counseling? Coverage varies by plan and provider. Our rates and insurance page lists the plans we accept, and our front desk can help you understand your specific benefits before your first session.
Start your marriage with a strong foundation
If you’re engaged and want to build your marriage on clear communication and shared understanding, our marriage counseling team offers premarital counseling at our Kaysville, Syracuse, and Ogden locations, with telehealth available across Utah. Call (801) 989-3488 or reach out online to schedule your first session.